In your own eyes

 It is more important to be the person you want to be in your own eyes than to try to be that person in everyone else's eyes

Only wanting what I can't have

Why do I only want  what I can't have ?

Falling for enthusiasm 

And love bombing

That doesn't last

Because they are just caught up in living in the moment 

But fear commitment, vulnerability, intimacy..when things get real

They are hot and cold

And emotionally unavailable 

But then I get attached to how the highs made me feel 

But not knowing how to receive it when someone genuinely thinks I'm great and wants to spend time with me

Something feels missing and I don't know why

Is it a spark, chemistry, passion, excitement in the chase?

Or a feeling that I need to earn it?

Am I doomed to just wanting what I can't have ?

Am I not giving the right people a good enough chance / being too picky?

 Or have I just not met the right one yet?