Darkness to Light

Hello Darkness, my old friend
Why do we have to meet again
Depression is heavy
Like a big black bear sitting on your chest
It is like being lost in a cave
It is like the bitter cold on a winter night
The warmth of the fire inside can't even help
It is negative thoughts and feelings
That can't even be chased away with gratitude
It is knowing others have it worse
But that just leads to guilt
It is a desperate desire to fight to feel better
But a lack of motivation and energy to do what needs to be done

It is only when you learn to surrender and sit with the feeling
That you even have a fighting chance

And with acceptance comes the light
Feeling better is like seeing a rainbow through the clouds
A glimpse of colors amongst the dark
The light comes slowly
And then all at once
Like headlights blaring in your face as a car comes towards you on a deserted road at night
Like accidentally staring at the sun on a bright sunny day without sunglasses on
It is the feeling of the warmth on your skin on the first day of Spring
The weight is suddenly lifted, with a sigh of relief
A intense feeling of gratitude to feel light as a feather
Thankful that the lightness brings the ability to laugh so hard that your belly hurts
And the voice to sing again
Or do a silly dance

And then you vow to never let yourself spiral so far down in the cave ever again

Home

Home is:
The smell of pluff mud in the marsh
Going across the Ravenel bridge at sunrise and being amazed at the vibrant colors
It is palm trees swaying in the breeze
And the taste of honeysuckles in spring

And a little bit of southern charm,"bless your heart"
It is the sand between your toes, the smell of salt water, the warmth on your face and wind in your hair as you watch the waves roll in and out on Folly beach
And always funky vibes and laid back beach bums

It is jamming out to Grateful Dead music or reggae vibes at The Pour House and going to the Sunday brunch Markets on weekends.

It is strawberry picking in the Spring

It is the taste of boiled peanuts at a river dogs game and watching fireworks on 4th of July
It is oyster roasts and riding carnival rides at the fair in North Charleston in the fall
And don't forget fright night at boone hall
It is the festival of lights on James Island in the winter and wearing shorts on Christmas Eve because it is still 80 degrees

It is watching sweetgrass baskets being made  at the market downtown and learning about Gullah
Taking a stroll to the battery, admiring the colors or rainbow row and dipping your toes in the pineapple fountain

It is the rich history of  the holy city ,pirates, plantations, and unfortunately slavery but beautiful architecture

It is the taste of shrimp and grits melting in your mouth and sweet muscadine wine from Deep Water Vineyard

It is sweet childhood memories of growing up in one of the top tourist destinations and taking for granted what a unique and beautiful place it is until you grow up and know what it is like to live somewhere else

Favorite moments in Africa

When I think of Africa I think of:
Waking up to the sound of Lions roaring in the distance
Feeling the rough skin of an Elephants back
Hearing a cheetah pur as I pet it's spot
Walking to breakfast and seeing giraffes eating leaves off trees in the distance
The speed of cheetah racing past me
A green iguana laying on my hand
Finding out that hippos can swin fast when  protecting their territory
The brightest reds, yellows, and oranges that I've ever seen in a sunset
The sight of a pack of lions waking up from a nap at Kruger national park
Standing up on a surf board for the first time
The adrenaline rush of jumping off a cliff
Swimming with dolphins right beside me
Walking through the blue city
The taste of mint tea
Riding a camel in the Saharan Desert &
Gazing at the brightest stars I've ever seen before
 Playing soccer with little children and their smiling faces of grattitude
Yeah I could get use to this
These are some of  the moment I felt most alive
I need to go back

Cliff jumping

Climbing up a mountain
The anticipation killing me
And then
Going up a rickety ladder
Fearing for my life
It would be so easy to fall right now
But then the warm embrace of arms helping me up
Standing on the edge of cliff
Contemplating if I want to jump
Feeling excitement and fear at the same time
Should I jump?
What if I don't jump far enough and fall on a rock?
So many questions swirling in my head
Pats on the back and encouraging words
 " You can do this" they say
Oh gosh, here goes nothing
I jump
Wow, will I ever hit the water
splash
What a relief
I did it!
I'm proud
So this is what it feels like to be alive
"Please let me never forget this feeling" I think to myself

Surfing for the first time

The rush of excitement as I stand up for my first time on a surf board
The feeling of gliding in the waves as they come crashing towards the shore
And the smell of salt water
The sounds of cheers encouraging me on
And in Mozambique of all place,
When I grew up by Folly Beach?
I felt alive
"Yeah this is what I want more of in my life" I thought to myself

Cheetahs in South Africa

Did you know a cheetah pur's, yeah just like a cat
Imagine that
The feeling of the fur as I pet her spots
Who would ever thought that I would get to pet a cheetah
And hear it's soft pur
Pass the ball around with one, like it's a house cat
And learn how to make their food
The fear and bewilderment that stirs inside
When i drop his plate of food and whip away before he eats me instead
Being able to watch them speed past me at 58 miles per hour
So sureal, what else can I say?

The Saharan Desert

Bouncing up in down on a camels back
As he strolls through the desert
Tents in the distance
And then we arive
The smell of vegetables and meat cooking on a fire, this meal called Tagine
The warmth of the fire on my skin
After dinner listen to drums beating away in a drum circle
And then going to lay on a log and I see
Brilliant bright stars shining brighter than I ever seen before
The taste of peppermint tea still in my mouth
The sound of camels snoring in the distant
The feeling of the wind on my face and sand in between in my toes
Amazement welling up inside me
Is this real?
I can't believe I am laying beneath the stars of the Saharan dessert right now
Did I really ride a camel to get here?
Life is pretty wild sometimes
I want to keep this moment forever