Sunday, July 12, 2015

My Long Random Thoughts About Love

     What is love? Love can be so complicated and confusing sometimes. Love means many different things to many  different people. According to Google  "love is an intense feeling of deep affection". Love comes in many different forms- family, friends, and significant others. True love is unconditional. Does this means that when you  really love someone, you love them your whole life no matter what? These days love does not always seem to last that long . But does that mean that love was never true love? I guess that could mean it was not unconditional love.

   People change sometimes, for better or for worse. Sometimes one person may change, sometimes both will but when you are in a relationship people usually need to be changing in the same direction for it to work out. People tend to stay the same in their core characteristic traits but  may change in their behaviors or actions. So maybe when people fall out of love it is not that they do not love that person anymore but it is that  he or she loves that person who he or she use to be more than the person who he or she is now. But what about for better or for worse?

      People are really valuable to me. When I find someone who loves spending time with me, understands me or at least tries, and accepts me just the way I am, I want to keep that person in my life. Sometimes people turn finding love into checking things off a checklist. I think it is good to know what you want in someone that you love but it is not about finding a perfect person that meets everything on your checklist. Perfect people do not exist, maybe that person could be perfect for you but...

    Everyone has flaws. Sometimes the things that you think are flaws end up being something the other person loves about you. When you love someone, you take the good and the bad. You forgive their mistakes. When you really love someone the bad does not often compare to how much good there is about that person.  The bad is worth the good. . When you love someone it is best to focus on the positive instead of the negative.  This does not mean you ignore the negative, but you accept it. This means you communicate and compromise  with your partner about the  things you can not accept. But you do not try to make that person  into something that he or she is not. When you love someone , you love he or she for exactly who he or she is not who you want he or she to be.You should not change your morals, values, beliefs or personality traits for another person to like you. But you can improve on things like communication, putting other people before yourself,  and accepting people for exactly who they are. Relationships require  communication and compromise. Improving on these things can help a relationship grow stronger. I think the best kind of relationship to be in would be one with someone who sees the best in you and one that you help each other to be your best selves.

  I think loving yourself first is best and will help your relationships in the long run too. I also don't think it is wise to make the person you love, your whole life. Having all of your happiness depend on one person is not the best idea. It is important to create your own meaning in life and  have your own passions and goals. It also important to spend time with other friends and family members that you love too. It is important to always remember to be true to yourself first, don't give up what you want in life for another person.  Sometimes you just need time to be on your own.

    Settling is not good but it is only up to you  to decide  for yourself what is worth being with someone and what is not. I don't understand why people marry young sometimes because I feel like there is so much time for that, with the exception of some circumstances. Maybe it is for the comfort and stability or maybe marriage  is their number one dream. But for me there is so much more to life than that. I want to do so much with my life before I get married, settle down, and have kids. I want to explore, go on adventures, learn more about myself and this world. Not that you can't do that when you are married, I just think it is important to do these things before too. I think It will also help in making sure you know what you want in life too.

      The thought of marriage scares me sometimes because of  how much things, people, and feelings,  can change. I feel like it is hard to know for sure if you will want to commit to spending your whole life with someone. The future is unpredictable. The only constant thing in life is change. Divorce scares me because of how much it happens these days and how stressful and sad I imagine that could be. But part of me does not want to be scared of divorce because being alone and happy is better that staying with someone you are not happy with. Also how will you really know if you want to be married to someone/ what being married to that person will be like unless you marry them?  My motto is you live and you learn and then if you need to you move on from what does not make you happy anymore. Although, It would be better to do the best you can do to avoid divorce by doing your best to marry someone you think you could be happy with for your whole life. Maybe to believe in love, you have to believe that a person can feel the same way about you and you can feel the same about that person for your whole life. People and things change but that does not mean your feelings have to change. Although doubts are normal sometimes and it does not make your love any less real.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWGKzqMwso&feature=youtu.be What is Love by Soul Pancake
This is a great video on other perspectives of love <3

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