Validation

 Validating myself

Hardest thing I've ever done

See I've always been a people pleaser

Play small

Do nothing to harm others

Apologize purfusely if a mistake is made 

Or even when I have done nothing wrong

Always blame myself because it is easier for me than holding resentment

Because I can always see where the other person is coming from

Gaslight myself for having any negative emotion ever

I must be over reacting...being dramatic

Because I'm always to blame

Must treat others with the utmost respect 

Even when I don't get the same in return

I'm hard on myself to be perfectly kind at all times

Otherwise I have failed

I am weak for letting others get to me

Criticizing and berating myself about every little thing

Even things that happened years ago

Giving others so much grace and understanding 

To be human and make mistakes

Validating their emotions 

But never giving that grace to myself in return

Never practicing what I preach

Easier said than done

When I do something that's best for myself..

I feel selfish

Feeling the need to be responsible for everyone else's emotions

 But disregarding my own

When will l learn?

Putting yourself first takes strength when you are used to sacrificing yourself instead

Because

I am worthy

Of respect

Of my own emotions

To take up space 

Of standing up for myself 

Without guilt

Because I matter too

I am valid too