Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse starts out slow

Subtitle insulting 

Tearing you down a little bit at a time 

Not all at once 

One minute they buy you flowers and chocolates 

They cook delicious meals and they clean your house for you

They tell you,  you are amazing , beyond imagination

The next minute you are a narcissist, who has multiple personalities, for not accepting their disrespect 

They apologize and say they will never do it again 

And then they say it is your fault because you triggered them 

They dismiss their actions because it was due to alcohol 

And then it is your responsibility to stay because leaving will hinder their recovery 

When you set a boundary, they don't respect it, and they say that you lack empathy 

When you want your space, they say you are selfish 

Manipulation and control in every action 

But only hindsight is 20/20 

It is not your fault 

It can happen to anyone 

You aren't accountable for their bad behavior 

You aren't responsible for their recovery 

You deserve better 

Love is meant to heal, not harm

Love is meant to be your safe place, not a prison

Reach out, get help, you are not alone

Choosing people who choose you because we are all worthy of love

 Life be funny sometimes 

You have a crush on someone 

But that person likes someone else

But the person they like doesn't like them back either 

And it can be a never ending chain of  people who just want what they can't have

Or who miss out on great people who are infatuated with them who they could have great potential with 

Yet are too busy obsessing over someone else who doesn't see their worth or who is too busy obsessing over someone else to give them a chance 

Even though there could be a great connection there

Sometimes it is hard to believe that someone else sees you in that light

It is hard to accept that you are worthy and deserving for people to see the best in you

The way you see the best in others

Sometimes it feels out of the blue if you feel like they don't know you well enough or you feel like you haven't done anything to earn or deserve their love

But the truth is we are all worthy without doing anything 

Unconditionally 

Just for being who we are

Cheers to me trying to break that cycle 

Going where I'm wanted

Choosing the people who choose me

Giving a chance to people who see my worth

Believing I deserve it 

Without feeling the need to earn it 

I am worthy

I deserve love

Just for being exactly who I am

Flaws and all

In your own eyes

 It is more important to be the person you want to be in your own eyes than to try to be that person in everyone else's eyes

Trusting yourself

 I grew up thinking everyone knew better than me

Not trusting myself

Not trusting my intuition

Not trusting my capabilities

Thinking the way I did things and thought was wrong

But when I learned to tune out the opinions and perspective of the world

I realized...

The way I thought was out of the box but it was what made sense to me 

The way I did things were different

But it was what worked for me

All along I knew what was best for me

All I needed was to have faith in myself

To listen to my own intuition 

Because all of the answers were always within me

To figure things out in my own way 

And realizing this is most liberating feeling of my life

Healing

There is this saying we teach people how to treat us

But actually we were taught how to be treated

How are we supposed to know that people treat us how are body language shows how we feel about ourselves?

How are you supposed to know you are worthy when people treated you like you were less?

They told me I was shy

But how was I supposed to want to speak up when I felt ignored when I did?

They assumed I could not do things

But that was far from right

All I needed to do was adapt

Now I know better

But grief consumes me that it took so long

I blamed myself for not knowing sooner

But it was never my fault

Healing is a long messy process that I'm still figuring out

Love is love

I think it is cool when people are more attracted to the person not the gender. Like schitts creek when David said " I like the wine, not the label"

 Love is love

No matter the gender

It's a shame there is so much shame around sexuality

Disability and sexuality is even more taboo

Because of vulnerability

Women with disabilities are seen as too vulnerable for sex or need to be protected..But truth is we have the same wants and needs as everyone else

I think the most important thing is that both people are open and honest with what they need and want

And with whom

Girls, guys, both

It shouldn't matter

Love is love

And it's up to you to decide what is best for u

Suicide

Someone I'm close to brother just died by suicide

I want to help

But nothing will take the pain away

Nothing will bring him back

No way to comprehend

The pain and suffering someone must go through to feel the need to end their life

Leaving loved one's behind to grieve this loss

But it's not a selfish act

Depression is a terrible disease and at that point rationality has left your system, pain and suffering has taken over every thought

You may even feel like a burden and that your loved ones would be better off

It's your choice...its your life

But a devastating choice at that

Because often it as a permanent solution to a temporary problem

There is hope in a better tomorrow 

But you must believe it is possible

And never give up

There are so many resources out there to exhaust

If only the access was better

There are people who love you and would hate to see you go

So much to live for even if it is just in the gratitude for the little things

But hard to remember when you are going through a lot...easier said than done

And maybe not everyone can be cured

But all lives are worth trying to save

And we must always remember to be kind

We never know what someone is going through

And how much showing them that someone cares could mean to them

That they matter, they are worthy, they are loved

Remind people that the world is better because they are in it

It could even save a life