Forgiveness

 Some people see forgiveness as weakness

I think it is quite the opposite

It takes more strength to forgive than hold a grudge

It takes empathy, kindness, and compassion

It brings peace to the other person to know that you no longer are angry with them

That you accept their apology, leave it in the past, and understand that like you, they are only human

They are imperfect and make mistakes

Forgiveness helps the person you are forgiving, sure but..

Forgiveness is often something you should do more for yourself

To not waste time and energy holding a grudge and letting anger control your actions and behaviors

Forgiveness is saying that "your actions, words and behaviors no longer have power over me or my emotions"

Forgiveness is saying " I rather live in a beautiful state of happiness, love, and peace"

I have never been one to hold a grudge

I am all for forgiveness, love, light and second chances

Although forgiveness doesn't mean you have to give that person a second chance

If you have given too many chances before 

They continue to take advantage of your kind heart  

Only continue to hurt you and do the same thing over and over again out of bad intentions

Then you have every right to cut them off

Some people never channge

But some do 

Some use their mistakes to grow and improve

Maybe second chances can't be handed out freely 

Maybe they have to be earned

My motto has always been if their apology is genuine

They prove they have learned, grown, and improved 

And they care about making it right, then giving another chance is okay

It can take a lot of strength but it can be worth it to give that person grace 

Because you would want the same grace shown to you when you unintentionally hurt someone you care about too

We all hurt each other at times, sometimes even unintentionally.

It all about finding/deciding the people who deserve forgiveness because they have shown forgiveness to you too

If that person brings you happiness, light, love and supports your growth

 I say hold on to them 

Don't let accidents or unintentional harm cause you to lose a valuable bond

Those types of people can be rare to find

But if they only drain your soul and bring drama and negativity to your life

Then let them go

Forgive but don't let them to continue hurt you

You deserve so much more

You deserve happiness, love, peace, positivity and people who want to see you shine

You deserve those who want to water you to help you grow, improve, and make all of your wildest dreams come true

Carry the World on Your Shoulders

 A friend told me today "You can't carry the world on your shoulders"

And it hit me on how true that it is for me

I over care, over worry and over love

I try to hold space for the problems of the whole world

My empathy causes me to want to help everyone with everything all the time

But that is not possible for one person to do

And you can only help those who want to be helped

It is also important for people to learn to help themselves

Sometimes when people say "Focus on yourself" it feels selfish to me

I'm laid back, easy going, and it doesn't take much to make me happy

I also have the means to help others that some may not so it is hard to not want to help when I can

I guess it is all about finding the balance when you are stretching yourself to thin that you are emotionally burning yourself out

Because not everyone has the same heart and although reciprocation is not always needed, there is a point where your cup is empty and you have nothing left to give

And that is when you know you need to fill your own cup up and find the people who water you so you both can grow

Conflict and Communication

 Communication and conflict resolutions are very important in relationships of all types: family, friendships, work relationships and significant others. 

 But everyone has different communication styles and ways they handle conflict. They say you don't really know a person until you see how they handle conflict, and it is kinda crazy how true that is. There is also that saying that there is no winning and losing in an argument, the goal is to come to a mutual understanding and if not, you both lose. I think that is true also.

 It is hard when one person likes to talk things out when things happen and can't stand to leave things on bad terms while the other person needs space and time to analyze the situation and come to their own conclusions.

 With some topics things can be communicated with actions better and words are not necessary, other times body language can tell you all that you need to know. Some things are better left unsaid while other times not saying things leads to bottled up emotions and they end up coming out in a more heated way. 

Sometimes you make assumptions and think you have the ability to read minds better than you do and you end up making up a false story in your head. But humans don't really have the ability to mind read, although that would be nice and make communication a million times easier. I feel like when in doubt it is better to just ask for clarification rather than assume.

But trust is also needed when it comes to communication, if you can't believe a word they say..communicating with them is pointless. Or if what you say is just going to go in one ear then out the other than their is no point either. Both people have to be willing and open to what people have to say for the communication to be successful. Each person also has to be willing to listen to understand, not listen to respond. To be heard, you must also give the mutual respect of hearing the other person. Some people are committed to misunderstanding you though.

With solving conflict it is important to remember we all are just human, we all make mistakes. We all must be able to admit our own mistakes and flaws and to have our mistakes forgiven we must forgive the other person too and realize that they are only human too.

Cut off

I've never been the one to be able to cut people off or block

I guess for other people they just lose respect for that person when they go too far and they can't go back

Not me

I have too much compassion and empathy

It is a blessing and a curse

I know nothing is as personal as it seems

How other people treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves

 

Why do I have to care so much more than others?

Why does someone being mad at me or not wanting to be friends with me anymore drive me absolutely crazy?

Do I have a fear of an abandonment or attachment issues because my mom died when I was young and I never really had many close friends?

Is it because I never felt like I fit in because of my disability and that made me have low self esteem?

Is it anxiety or my ADHD?

Probably a mix of everything

 

I learned long ago that nothing is promised or guaranteed

We don't own people and they owe us nothing

Love, friendships, connections are about appreciation not ownership.

Relationships work better when you focus on what you can give rather than what you gain

 

 

Sometimes I'm ok with not conforming

To the norms and expectations of society

Being my authentic overly loving self

Because no one is useless who lightens the burden for others to bare

Maybe I was just put on this earth to serve others

And you tend to be happier, at peace and in the present moment when you are helping others

Not focusing on yourself

 

But others times it feels lonely

Sometimes you get burnt out if you are not taking the time to fill your own cup

To be one of few to care so much

And I wish I could be the type to be able to stop caring more easily

Cut people off

Stand up for myself in what I deserve as well as I do for others

You are supposed to love yourself first and be okay on your own

But i feel like there is a limit on how much one person can take on, on their own

You can get sick of always having to be strong and independent

 

We are only human and we need each other, we are social creatures 

We need to be surrounded by positive, supportive people who help us grow  

Because we were made for love, belonging, and connection