Relationships are tricky
They can give you the highest of highs
And the lowest of lows
Make you feel like you are on top of the world
Or like you are in the gutter
It can feel like your happiness depends on finding and keeping a romantic partner
But your happiness should never be put on the shoulders of one person
I've only experienced relationships that were extremely emotionally dependent on me or situationship relationships where the person was emotionally unavailable
Nothing in between of those two extremes
When someone put too much pressure on it
I ran
It felt soffocating
Like they expected me to be their whole world After one month
But then fell for love bombing
Some how from some people, their enthusiasm felt like chemistry
For others it felt like desperation
But those who felt like chemistry didn't feel forced
They just felt fun,easy, care free
When feelings got real.. they ran
But
I rather that than the over dependence
I rather silence than manipulation, control, and criticizing of my values/ who I am as a person
Or someone making me feel guilty for years because they made me feel like I was responsible for their happiness
I thought I was giving a chance to someone who was persistent and had genuine feelings in my last relationship
But it ended up being a person who was an over dependent narcissist
So my question is how do you find those in the middle between emotionally overly dependent and emotionally unavailable?
At age 31
It seems like a difficult task to pursue
Hopefully not impossible though
Hopefully not impossible
Maybe I need to embody the person I seek
And even just some trustworthy friends would be more than enough for me