Caring too much is a blessing and a curse. Caring too much is a blessing because what is the point in life if you aren't really passionate about anything? What you are passionate about gives meaning and purpose to your life. What I am passionate about is people. I love spending quality time with the people I care about. I am happiest when I'm with people I care about. Being emotional is the same way. Being too emotional is better than feeling nothing at all. It is good to let yourself be affected by things and being vulnerable is the only way you can really feel love. I've posted this quote before but it describes what I am talking about perfectly.
"Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it a song,a stranger, a mountain, a raindrop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all- look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.”
― Zooey Deschanel
But feeling everything so deeply can also be a curse. Being emotional can be hard to understand for people who don't feel things so deeply. I always try to understand other people's perspectives, so it can be hard when other people can't understand mine. There are also times where I need to not let myself be so affected by things and control my emotions better. When I can't spend time with people I love, I sometimes let it affect me more than I should. I am a work in progress. I'm trying to get better. Caring too much is a curse because I always put other people before myself, even when I should consider myself first. With most relationships: family, friendships, and significant others, I am more often than not the one who calls, texts and make plans first. This is hard for me at times because it makes me wonder if people ever think of me or miss me, even though I know they do. I just express it more. It is not their fault. I just think about other people more than most. I can't help it, that is just the way I am. I don't always like that about myself because it is disappointing when I feel like I care more. Sometimes I expect more out of others because I would do the same for them. But part of my work in progress is accepting and embracing this part of myself, while understanding that not everybody else is like this. This is one of my greatest struggles yet, but I won't give up until I get there.
