Religion

Religion "is is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence. Many religions have narratives, symbols, and sacred histories that aim to explain the meaning of life, the origin of life, or the Universe."

I hate that religion divides people and causes war and violence. I don't like that we can't all just accept each others beliefs and coexist peacefully.  I guess it is hard to really accept people of all beliefs though if your beliefs says that the people who believe in other beliefs are going to hell because of it I like organizations like Better Together, that bring people together of all religions to find common ground with each other and work together to make the world a better place. I don't like when people try to force their beliefs on others or judge people of other beliefs.  I  don't think language like  saying that people of other beliefs are "lost" and need to be "saved".  I don't like how the perception of society that people who are  Christian are better people than people who are not.  People who do not believe can be really good people and people who do believe can use Christianity, and the fact that their sins are forgiven to do what they want. I don't understand how all sins are equal when harming other people seems way worse  than having sex before marriage. Sometimes I don't understand the emphasis on sin and that we are all sinners, for me it felt like a lot of pressure to be perfect even though it is just supposed to be humbling. But I do understand that if God does exist, he is much bigger and better than humans because he created everything. If he does exist, I understand in being thankful for everything he does and everything he has created and given me. But I don't think you need to spend all of your life just worshiping god because then you are not experiencing and appreciating all that this world has to offer.

I also don't like when people use religion to judge others, or to take other rights away. For example, gay rights. I don't agree with everything in the bible, like that homosexuality is a sin. But this may be a misinterpretation. The Bible can be interpreted in many different ways and can be used for good and bad. I wish people would just use it for helping and loving other people like the bible taught  instead of using it for power and taking other people's rights away.

I don't think people should go to hell for having different beliefs, even it is just a place that in absence of god because if god is everything good then it would be absence of good too. But maybe those who don't believe would not want to be in heaven with god anyways. I can understand God though too not want people there who don't believe in him but at the same time faith is really hard. There are so many things that can impact your beliefs such as where you live and what your family believes. Even jewish people who believe in god but since they do not believe that christ was the savior, they do not get to go to heaven? Maybe you just see so much suffering in the world and wonder how god can be good and have a plan for everyone if some people have it way better off than others.  Maybe bad times makes good times better or you can learn a lot through bad times and become stronger but that is not always the case.Even if what happens on this earth doesn't matter because the people who aren't well off but will be in heaven, then why even have earth? Why create people who won't believe in you, free will, but if you already know what they are going to believe is it really free will? Or is it really free will if you get punished with hell if you don't believe?  They say god is so much bigger than us that we can not understand his plans but it is hard to blindly trust and not want to understand. It makes sense to try to find the truth, to question beliefs and look to science for answers. But maybe religion and science can coexist. Sometimes I wonder why we have to know? I like that the pope said that hell did not exist and that people do not have to believe to go to heaven but can also go to heaven from doing their best to be good people. But I don't like that the catholic church turned around and said that he did not mean it how it sounded.

I grew up Christian but now I am more open minded to all beliefs and want to learn more about all beliefs.  But sometimes I feel pressured to be Christian because that is what my family believes and because I want to go to heaven to see my mom and sometimes because it seems like what society says is what is right to believe. I wonder what I want to  teach my kids(if i have them) but I think it is better to let them decide for themselves. God and faith is something that you can not see, you have to feel. I use to have faith and could feel in my heart that god is real and sometimes I want to feel it again. I admire the passion people have for their beliefs when they use them for good. I wonder how much Greg's beliefs impacted mine but I think I was already questioning things and saw some flaws in religion before we met too. But I love listening to other people’s perspectives and I think it is important to be accepting and open minded to other people’s beliefs. The bible teaches to love everyone no matter what anyways.

These flaws in religion can lead others to not follow organized beliefs and either believe in nothing at all or create their own beliefs. I like this idea but do these beliefs matter  if they are not the truth?

If god is real i hope he just wants us to be happy. I hope that god is not focused on our sins so much but is mostly focused on how we treat others and that loving people and accepting each other’s difference are the most important things. I hope god understands doubt because faith is hard and people just want to know the truth.It can be seen as admirable to die for your religious beliefs like the girl in she said yes but it would suck if you are wrong and you die for nothing. People don't understand all of the evils of the world and suffering because not all of them are human caused. Even if it was human caused why would he create humans to be like that or do something about it afterwards? How does he choose the prayers he will answer/ people he will save? I don't understand god's plan because some go through so much more or have so much less time. So i hope either god does not have a plan for everyone or if he does his plan is actually good and makes sense because It does not make sense to me. I also hope that god doesn’t put you people through things to test how strong their faith is because that does not seem right to me. People can only go through so much before they break and question things. I’m not sure if I agree that god gives the hardest challenges to the toughest people.

I understand being thankful for what you have and if it is from god being thankful of god. But I don't understand calling them blessing or saying that you are blessed because what about the other people who have less? It does not make sense that god choose to not bless them or bless them less. So blessings sometimes seems like bragging to me, like  look at all god choose to gave me but did not give you.. I must be better or mean more because god gave me more..idk. I hope god understands me not understanding why we have to know.. I don’t think not worshiping god means your worship yourself or idle things of this world. I think you can just be learning, living, and experiencing this world.

I hope god would want us to focus on the life we have now on this earth now, doing the best with what we have, making the most of our experiences, making a positive impact on other people, and living life the fullest/ enjoying it while we can. I hope god would be accepting of all beliefs and religions because it is hard to know what is the truth. Sometimes people who don’t believe, don’t believe because they care so much about humanity and don’t understand how a good/ all powerful god could let so much suffering happen. These people do whatever possible to help humanity as much as possible and I don’t think they deserve to go to hell. I hope god would let all of the people i love to be able to go to the same place after life.I still think as long as you try your best to find the truth, treat others with respect and do the best to be the best person you can be you should be ok.

    

Mental Health and Ways to Find Hope

Anxiety, Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder, Cerebral Palsy. Sometimes I feel like I have it all and it gets so heavy. 1 and 6 adults experience a mental illness throughout their life, so you are not alone. It is easy to go on a downward spiral when everything builds up without realizing it because of burnt out. Burnt out doesn't even have to mean that one is  doing too much, it could mean that they just aren't doing enough that brings you joy and passion. Mental Illness is real and just as hard to control or cope with as physically disabilities. It it is not the fault of the person who has a mental illness, although it can be hard to not feel like it is sometimes. Research has found that mental illness have huge biological and chemical factors but can be triggered by traumatic events. Mental Illness does not mean weakness, in a way it makes the person stronger because they have to deal with a lot more than an average person to get through a day. It can be hard to not let fear cause being paralyzed in knowing what to do next or how to feel better. One reason I write this blog is to reduce the stigma around mental illness. Anxiety can especially be hard when in the 20's and trying to figure out what you want to do next or wish to have has done more than you have but the Irony of is it that the 20's are still so young that most people don't have it all figured it out then. What makes it even harder is social media, where comparisons can be a never winning battle that just robs people of joy, because it makes it seem like everyone else is happier than you and have their life together, although it is often a facade or it doesn't show the whole picture. The person who could look like the most attractive person who has it all together, could really be struggling  with themselves behind closed doors. It is hard in the day of social media when comparisons are all around us. Taking breaks from social media can be a must.

I am highly sensitive person, a characteristic in 20% of the population and that means I process things more deeply and can get overwhelmed by sensory over load more easily but it also gives me the strengths of creativity, intuition, being able to understand and emphasize with people, and my appreciation for the little things. Since it is so rare, it is easy to feel lonely and misunderstood. I do my best to take responsibility for my emotions and not over react but another battle this sensitivity causes is not caring too much what people think, letting things go, as well as not being hard on myself. I am my own worst critic. When I feel like I am being judged or have conflict with someone, I shut down and it is hard to open up to people. But people will judge you no matter what and at times it can be more about how they feel about themselves or they have nothing better to do and want to fit in too. Caring too much of the perception of others is also silly because everyone is more focused on what they have going on in their own life anyways. It can be hard not to care because feeling connected to people, loved and understood can be so important for happiness but the people who matter accept you for who you are. So might as well embrace who you are because it matters more how you feel about yourself.

Although my normal self is more optimistic, bubbly, and happy, I am still naturally more reserved and it can take me longer to be myself around some people.  I can envy extroverts because I love being around people and talking to them. I love deep conversation and people that I can be goofy around and remind me not to take things too seriously. But I get bored with small talk easily and stare into space or look around a lot. Sometimes my anxiety and depression cause me to withdraw from people or become more awkward and paranoid that they are talking about me, although when I'm at my best I embrace my awkwardness. Normal is a myth, we are all a little weird haha.  When I let depression build up, I can't hide my feelings either, I go from being my bubbly and happy self to feeling and looking lifeless. My latest struggle forcing things that I don't want to do when I'm unhappy became impossible enough that I needed to take a break from everything to reset.

But in my reset I realized that my depression and anxiety, although partly biological and chemical is also do to my external circumstances. I was trying to force myself to do the things we are taught to do, be practical. Go to school, get an education, find a job. If you can't find a job that you are happy with the degree you have, go back to school and get another degree or settle for a job that just pays the bills because you need to do that to survive. Although some people are lucky and find a job that they love without worrying about too much education. Me, not so much, that I am really passionate about anyways. I decided to go back to school to become an Occupational Therapy Assistant because I wanted to use my experiences of having cerebral palsy to help other kids who have physically disabilities. But going back to school was harder to get the motivation than I thought. OTA requires a lot of math and science courses and those are just not my subjects, even though I could love the career once i got into it, It could also be like another career I tried ABA( although a great and rewarding job that I learned a lot from, it ended up being more travel and paper work than my brain could handle). But I may try to go back to OTA in the future.

So now I realized that my adventurous soul needs a more creative and fun type of job. So I have decided to go with what will make me happy and  start planning to find a job on Coolworks.com or other resources like it for my future, where I can combine my adventurous nature and helping children who have disabilities or maybe even learn something new. If you love adventures like me I highly recommend looking into it, also Workaway is a great website to find work exchange programs abroad as well. Moral of the story: don't feel like you have to always do the practical thing that society has taught us: get a job, pay the bills and die, settle for an average life. I spent so long trying to do the practical thing and in my comfort zone( besides some travel volunteer experience with work away and ISV that I'm thankful for) when I really want to just go out and explore the world while I'm young. Of course you do need money to do this, with a little dedication it may not be as hard as you originally think to save depending on your circumstances. Even though, some may have more privileges that make it easier for them to make it happen, it doesn't mean that you can't, it may just take a little more effort. There is more to life than settling for a job that just pays the bills, although there can be extraordinary/ meaningful moments in and satisfaction with the every day life of settling down, having a family, and stability too.

 You can find adventurous and meaningful work that pays your bills. Going the adventurous route may be scarier and not have retirement benefits or the stability but that is why you should go for it while you are young and healthy. Who needs retirement when you are still healthy enough to work and you love your job because it gives your purpose?

 What I learned from my personal experience is to just do what makes you happy. And if you think your mental illness (mostly anxiety/depression) is only due to biology and chemicals and you are losing hope, i suggest to take a look at your circumstances as well and see if there is anything you can change, although easier said than done, it could make a huge difference. It has for me and I am so thankful for that. On  a side note other factors I have found to be helpful in dealing with mental illness include: meaningful social connections, exercise, yoga, meditation, eating a healthy diet, and volunteering. As well as counseling and medicine if it comes to that too.

Welp those are my thoughts on mental illness, if you made it this far... thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol