Knowing Your Worth and Helping Others Realize Their Worth Too

Why do people hold on to hope of one person when that person does not show as much mutual interest? To me it does not seem worth it if you have to convince someone of your worth. Although I have done this too. I talked about how I learned my own worth in my blog post "Lessons" and "Being Your  Own Person"

In "Lessons" I explained the lesson I learned in knowing when to let go. I tried to hold on for so long because of what I used to have that I did not realize I was the only one still holding on.

 These quote describes perfectly why you should let go when the other person is not holding on anymore:

"I won't beg someone to love me. I  learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth. I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who does not acknowledge  my value, I want to be loved unconditionally. I should not have to fight so hard for it. I do not have time to prove to some one that I am worth it. I should not have to prove any of that. I am worth more than that."

"Don't chase people, be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people- the ones who really belong in your life-will come to you And stay."-Will Smith

This applies to people who have crushes on other people who may not feel the same way too. Maybe they call them crushes because they end up crushing you if you don't give up hope when you realize the other person does not have a crush on you. But feelings can be so hard to control and sometimes you can't help the way you feel about someone. Sometimes it can be even hard to describe why you like someone so much, you just do. Other times your feelings for someone can feel like the thing that keeps you going when you are going through a hard time or feel like you are in a nightmare. But to me it seems like it would stay a nightmare if you continue to hold onto hope of someone who does not see your worth rather than trying to find someone who can see it on their own without trying to convince them. 

It is also important to find happiness within yourself too rather than relying on another person to make you happy.  In my blog post "Being your own Person" I talk about this. You have to love yourself before you can love others. Happiness does not come from other people, It comes from having confidence and respect for yourself. People need people. People can make you happy but you should not let your happiness only be based on other people. It is hard to not feel like something is missing when you aren't in a relationship because of the pressure and value society/culture put on being in love, but is important to be able to feel complete on your own. Having that special someone who loves being around you, is always there for you, and brings out the best in you is amazing but you can't force it to happen. 

If you really care about someone, you want them to be happy regardless of if they do choose you rather than wanting them to make you happy by choosing you. 

Like Osho said:

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.” 

You also can not change or control a person to make them who you want them to be even when you think it is for their own good

"People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds." Carl R Rodgers

I may come off as judging others for not knowing their worth but it is only because I have been their too and don't want other people to have to go through what I went through. But like the quote above says, you can't control other people and it is up to each person to decide what they want to spend their life on. It comes natural to me to want to help others because of my psychology background but I have also learned that you can only help others who want to be helped. People often learn best through experience. Sometimes it is necessary to learn things the hard way.