Validating myself
Hardest thing I've ever done
See I've always been a people pleaser
Play small
Do nothing to harm others
Apologize purfusely if a mistake is made
Or even when I have done nothing wrong
Always blame myself because it is easier for me than holding resentment
Because I can always see where the other person is coming from
Gaslight myself for having any negative emotion ever
I must be over reacting...being dramatic
Because I'm always to blame
Must treat others with the utmost respect
Even when I don't get the same in return
I'm hard on myself to be perfectly kind at all times
Otherwise I have failed
I am weak for letting others get to me
Criticizing and berating myself about every little thing
Even things that happened years ago
Giving others so much grace and understanding
To be human and make mistakes
Validating their emotions
But never giving that grace to myself in return
Never practicing what I preach
Easier said than done
When I do something that's best for myself..
I feel selfish
Feeling the need to be responsible for everyone else's emotions
But disregarding my own
When will l learn?
Putting yourself first takes strength when you are used to sacrificing yourself instead
Because
I am worthy
Of respect
Of my own emotions
To take up space
Of standing up for myself
Without guilt
Because I matter too
I am valid too
