It's so strange how sometimes you can't control who you like or care about both in friendship or as more. It can also be hard to describees why you like or are attracted to someone, sometimes it can be an indescribable feeling, chemistry or understanding of each other. It is strange how humans are drawn to and want what we can't have. Strange why we still care or its hard to let go when the other person does not reciprocate. Maybe that is why a crush is called a crush, it ends up crushing you when your crush does not like you back. But being on different levels or unrequitted friendships can be just as hard as unrequitted love. It is interesting or strange that we can end up on such different levels with people because logically or naturally you would think you would be most attracted to people who reciprocate the enjoyment of your company equally but that is not always the case.
And not always being able to control these feelings can be annoying and frusterating. Because logically you know It is best to go where you are wanted, where your energy is reciprocated, appreciated and celebrated. Nothing short of people who consider you a fuck yes because there is no point or worth in lukewarm with anything in life, including friendships and relationships.You deserve nothing less than that in life, people who love you and see the best in you.
Yet sometimes you can't help but care about someone who doesn't care about you. Even when you know you shouldn't and even when you tell yourself you don't but deep down you still do. But maybe there is nothing wrong with that and it just proves how beautiful, loving, and caring your soul really is, to care despite if you get anything back and the ability to see the good in everyone. Or it could be an unrealistic desire to want to be friends with everyone and liked by everyone when truth is there is more to people than the good you see or not everyone has the same heart as you.
Rejection is really hard but usually it is this way because the people who you care about who may not feel the same way now or are not on your level are the rare people who made you feel like you were seen, maybe even the people who have made you feel the most seen, cared about, appreciared, or understood. But sometimes things change or those people have other people that make them feel more. And so you realize that even though you can't help that you care, your realize it is not worth your energy to go where you aren't wanted. You realize maybe letting go isn't this thing you can do all at once in a quick easy moment but more of a constant reminder of your worth, that you deserve to go where people love you, see the best in you and where your energy is reciprocated,celebrated,and appreciated. Letting go is appreciating memories, experiences, and connections when the energy is reciprocated but then wishing them the best and letting it be when you are not on the same level or the energy is not reciprocated, because going where you are wanted is the only place worth going.
