Knowing Your Worth and Helping Others Realize Their Worth Too

Why do people hold on to hope of one person when that person does not show as much mutual interest? To me it does not seem worth it if you have to convince someone of your worth. Although I have done this too. I talked about how I learned my own worth in my blog post "Lessons" and "Being Your  Own Person"

In "Lessons" I explained the lesson I learned in knowing when to let go. I tried to hold on for so long because of what I used to have that I did not realize I was the only one still holding on.

 These quote describes perfectly why you should let go when the other person is not holding on anymore:

"I won't beg someone to love me. I  learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth. I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who does not acknowledge  my value, I want to be loved unconditionally. I should not have to fight so hard for it. I do not have time to prove to some one that I am worth it. I should not have to prove any of that. I am worth more than that."

"Don't chase people, be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people- the ones who really belong in your life-will come to you And stay."-Will Smith

This applies to people who have crushes on other people who may not feel the same way too. Maybe they call them crushes because they end up crushing you if you don't give up hope when you realize the other person does not have a crush on you. But feelings can be so hard to control and sometimes you can't help the way you feel about someone. Sometimes it can be even hard to describe why you like someone so much, you just do. Other times your feelings for someone can feel like the thing that keeps you going when you are going through a hard time or feel like you are in a nightmare. But to me it seems like it would stay a nightmare if you continue to hold onto hope of someone who does not see your worth rather than trying to find someone who can see it on their own without trying to convince them. 

It is also important to find happiness within yourself too rather than relying on another person to make you happy.  In my blog post "Being your own Person" I talk about this. You have to love yourself before you can love others. Happiness does not come from other people, It comes from having confidence and respect for yourself. People need people. People can make you happy but you should not let your happiness only be based on other people. It is hard to not feel like something is missing when you aren't in a relationship because of the pressure and value society/culture put on being in love, but is important to be able to feel complete on your own. Having that special someone who loves being around you, is always there for you, and brings out the best in you is amazing but you can't force it to happen. 

If you really care about someone, you want them to be happy regardless of if they do choose you rather than wanting them to make you happy by choosing you. 

Like Osho said:

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.” 

You also can not change or control a person to make them who you want them to be even when you think it is for their own good

"People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds." Carl R Rodgers

I may come off as judging others for not knowing their worth but it is only because I have been their too and don't want other people to have to go through what I went through. But like the quote above says, you can't control other people and it is up to each person to decide what they want to spend their life on. It comes natural to me to want to help others because of my psychology background but I have also learned that you can only help others who want to be helped. People often learn best through experience. Sometimes it is necessary to learn things the hard way.

# HiremeSC

People who have disablities deserve equal opportunities in finding a career. We are just as capable at pursuing meaningful careers and accomplishing our dreams. My dreams are to use my experience of adapting physically and mentally to Cerebral Palsy to inspire other children who have disabilities to reach their full potential. I was a Registered Behavioral Technician for a year and then went to Morocco to be a part of a month long parent teaching program for children who have autism. I am a host and subsitute special ed teacher assistant right now, while exploring my other opportunities. I look forward to all of the possibilities in careers i have in my future to fight for the rights and well being of those who have disabilities. This may even include the peace corps or other work away programs. To anyone else who has a disability and is struggling to find the career that they deserve, don't give up. All we need to do is advocate for ourselves and each other. #hiremesc #notbroken

Communication and Responsibility Of Your Own Emotions

Sensitivity and taking things personal are common themes through out my life, it has been on my mind a lot lately. Recently I have realized the importance of taking responsibility for your own emotions and of not taking things so personal. Everyone has so much they are dealing with at one time and sometimes people take their emotions out on people who have nothing to do with their problems. I am guilty of this too. Sometimes the flaws you see in others are actually the flaws you want to work on in yourself. Everyone can contradict themselves at times and do things that others have done to them, even though they did not like the way it felt when it happened to them. This can even happen unintentionally. It can also be harder to relate to or understand things that you have not gone through yourself.

 I have a love/hate relationship with people. I love spending time with people...(maybe to a fault sometimes). People are so fascinating to me. I often come on too strong and open up too easily because of how much I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends, as well as deep conversations. But being vulnerable and open is not always a bad thing, you build deeper connections with people that way. As long as you don't become dependent on them. I learn so much from everyone I meet and try to find good in everyone. Sometimes I feel like people should even show their emotions more, it can be human nature to care too much what others think though. Vulnerability  is not a weakness.

But people can also be so draining to me, so much so that I feel like I'm meant to be alone at times. It can even cause me to have insomnia. I am a strange mix of introversion and extroversion.  I'm often too aware and analytical of why people do the things they do. My coping mechanism of humor, sarcasm, and making fun of myself can come off the wrong way. I tend to go through moods where I either do not take myself seriously with anything or take everything too seriously. When I am not serious and alone I often sing or dance but when I am serious, my thoughts are non stop. I also have a habit of talking to myself lol. But I love spending time with people who I can be goofy around and who remind me not to take things so seriously.  I feel what others are feeling and easily pick up on other people's vibes, especially if something is wrong. Conflict can be overwhelming to me but I always try to become better at dealing with it, while remaining calm. Although I still have my initial emotional reactions, I over analyze things until I can be logical about the situation and understand everyone's perspective. At times I even get anxious being around conflict that doesn't involve me. Luckily I have found meditation and yoga that has helped me a lot.

Communication is hard in this modern world where texting is often the main source of communicating with people quickly. It can be easy to text too much when you are emotional. So much can be misunderstood through text. Texting is so hard because you can not read tone and body language. Other things that are hard about communication is that I feel like it is easy to assume what you want about a conversation even if the other person is being honest. Or other times it is hard to be honest because you are trying to be nice too. To me honesty is the best policy even if it comes off a little blunt. Bluntness can be needed for a person to truly understand at times because so much can be misinterpreted or taken the wrong way.  Bluntness is better than things building up and blowing up. But i think there can be a balance between honesty and kindness. People don't always mean to come off the way they sound. It is human nature to not always realize how you come off and be more focused on your own feelings than how others feel in situations. That is why it is best to not take things personal, other people's reactions have a lot to do with themselves too.  The power you have when you can't control a situation is to control how you react to it. But it is a lot easier said than done. We also have the power of our own emotions, life, and happiness. Life becomes a lot less stable if that power is given to anyone else. Not to be cliche but when this happens, you become the victim rather than the hero of your life. Being the hero, instead of the victim in my story is my current work in progress.

Here is a  link to a video of Will Smith that inspired this post.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USsqkd-E9ag