My Long Random Thoughts About Love

     What is love? Love can be so complicated and confusing sometimes. Love means many different things to many  different people. According to Google  "love is an intense feeling of deep affection". Love comes in many different forms- family, friends, and significant others. True love is unconditional. Does this means that when you  really love someone, you love them your whole life no matter what? These days love does not always seem to last that long . But does that mean that love was never true love? I guess that could mean it was not unconditional love.

   People change sometimes, for better or for worse. Sometimes one person may change, sometimes both will but when you are in a relationship people usually need to be changing in the same direction for it to work out. People tend to stay the same in their core characteristic traits but  may change in their behaviors or actions. So maybe when people fall out of love it is not that they do not love that person anymore but it is that  he or she loves that person who he or she use to be more than the person who he or she is now. But what about for better or for worse?

      People are really valuable to me. When I find someone who loves spending time with me, understands me or at least tries, and accepts me just the way I am, I want to keep that person in my life. Sometimes people turn finding love into checking things off a checklist. I think it is good to know what you want in someone that you love but it is not about finding a perfect person that meets everything on your checklist. Perfect people do not exist, maybe that person could be perfect for you but...

    Everyone has flaws. Sometimes the things that you think are flaws end up being something the other person loves about you. When you love someone, you take the good and the bad. You forgive their mistakes. When you really love someone the bad does not often compare to how much good there is about that person.  The bad is worth the good. . When you love someone it is best to focus on the positive instead of the negative.  This does not mean you ignore the negative, but you accept it. This means you communicate and compromise  with your partner about the  things you can not accept. But you do not try to make that person  into something that he or she is not. When you love someone , you love he or she for exactly who he or she is not who you want he or she to be.You should not change your morals, values, beliefs or personality traits for another person to like you. But you can improve on things like communication, putting other people before yourself,  and accepting people for exactly who they are. Relationships require  communication and compromise. Improving on these things can help a relationship grow stronger. I think the best kind of relationship to be in would be one with someone who sees the best in you and one that you help each other to be your best selves.

  I think loving yourself first is best and will help your relationships in the long run too. I also don't think it is wise to make the person you love, your whole life. Having all of your happiness depend on one person is not the best idea. It is important to create your own meaning in life and  have your own passions and goals. It also important to spend time with other friends and family members that you love too. It is important to always remember to be true to yourself first, don't give up what you want in life for another person.  Sometimes you just need time to be on your own.

    Settling is not good but it is only up to you  to decide  for yourself what is worth being with someone and what is not. I don't understand why people marry young sometimes because I feel like there is so much time for that, with the exception of some circumstances. Maybe it is for the comfort and stability or maybe marriage  is their number one dream. But for me there is so much more to life than that. I want to do so much with my life before I get married, settle down, and have kids. I want to explore, go on adventures, learn more about myself and this world. Not that you can't do that when you are married, I just think it is important to do these things before too. I think It will also help in making sure you know what you want in life too.

      The thought of marriage scares me sometimes because of  how much things, people, and feelings,  can change. I feel like it is hard to know for sure if you will want to commit to spending your whole life with someone. The future is unpredictable. The only constant thing in life is change. Divorce scares me because of how much it happens these days and how stressful and sad I imagine that could be. But part of me does not want to be scared of divorce because being alone and happy is better that staying with someone you are not happy with. Also how will you really know if you want to be married to someone/ what being married to that person will be like unless you marry them?  My motto is you live and you learn and then if you need to you move on from what does not make you happy anymore. Although, It would be better to do the best you can do to avoid divorce by doing your best to marry someone you think you could be happy with for your whole life. Maybe to believe in love, you have to believe that a person can feel the same way about you and you can feel the same about that person for your whole life. People and things change but that does not mean your feelings have to change. Although doubts are normal sometimes and it does not make your love any less real.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWGKzqMwso&feature=youtu.be What is Love by Soul Pancake
This is a great video on other perspectives of love <3

Lessons I Learned in South Africa, Mozambique, and Swaziland

    The rainbow nation of Africa quickly felt like home to me this past month because of all the friendly people i met there. In Africa, UBUNTU means we are who we are because of other people. The people I met in Africa have definitely made a difference in who I am! I had an amazing time volunteering with cheetahs at Shingwedzi Ann van Dyk Cheetah Centre - De Wildt in South Africa and then adventure touring in Swaziland and Mozambique! Going on game drives, cliff jumping, caving, swimming with dolphins, learning to surf, visiting an orphanage, and learning about their culture was such an amazing experience for me! I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who was apart of my experience, International Student Volunteers, and Shingwedzi Ann van Dyk Cheetah Centre - De Wildt, for making my stay in Africa so great! Africa is a beautiful place filled with great people! Everyone is so happy there and they remind me what is most important in life! I love Africa and I hope to go back to visit again soon!

 Lessons I Learned

1.  I learned how important sustainability and conservation is. We impact our environment and the wild life around us so much but we can make a difference by being aware of how we can impact our surroundings less and by educating others .

2. Traveling helps you be more open, learn more about yourself, and learn more about the world. This makes me want to travel as much as possible!

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware."- Henery Miller
 I think the best way to become more aware of everything around you is traveling!

3.Appreciating what you have is so important because many people have less. But at the same time I realized how little material things matter to me because material things do not make me happy. Sometimes the people who have the least are the happiest people in the world because they know what matters most.  Worrying about the small things is silly. What matters most to me are my experiences, lessons learned, and the people i meet. These are the things that I want to remember!

This picture explain what is most important in the African culture. "An anthropologist thought he would test these African children. He placed a bowl of fruit underneath a tree and told them that the first one to reach the tree could have the fruit. When he told the children to run, they all took each others' hands and ran together. They all enjoyed the fruit together. This is the African concept of Ubuntu. In my opinion, it is also why Africa is preyed upon by the vultures untamed and let loose by other cultures.When asked why they didn't run the course alone, they answered, UBUNTU! How can we be happy when others are sad?UBUNTU in Xhosa is roughly translated, "I am because we are."I found this on an African website and wanted to share it with you.Now, if we could just get rid of those vultures"- Cynthia Mckinnley

The people I met in the orphanage in Swaziland were some of the happiest people i have ever met.

4.  Volunteering and doing what you can do to help all around the world is so rewarding! Volunteering helped me to not focus on myself so much and see the bigger picture of things. One person can make a difference! When people come together to make a difference, they can do even more!

5.  Go for your dreams despite your fears! I overcame my fears a lot during this trip by caving, cliff jumping, scuba diving in a pool, and surfing. I pushed myself to do more than I ever thought was possible! Thank you Graeme and all of my group for your encouragement, I could not have done it without my chummies(friends)!

6. Be a traveler not a tourist. Instead of judging the place and culture, go and learn about it.  Find out for yourself. Talk to people, wander around, explore new adventures!  "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" :)
(http://magazine.good.is/articles/africans-post-positive-images-of-continent-combat-media-stereotypes?upw ) An article and a twitter account that explains why you should not judge a place just by what you hear about it.

7. Disconnecting from technology is good to do every once in a while because it forces you to live in the moment and reflect on yourself and your life.