Derek

Leaving your house in NC in 2020

Conflict happened and I was bummed we weren't on good terms when I left

But we reconnected 

Now it's 2024

Stayed in touch

Planned to visit each other again one day

But what do you do when one day never happens?

You are gone now

I can't believe you were stabbed and murdered 

 I'm sad 

You were one of my favorite people 

You were there for me when I needed a friend the most

 You always encouraged me and gave me the best words of wisdom 

I still have messages you sent to me that meant a lot: 

 "I hope that you are doing amazing, because you are one of a kind and deserve everything you want your life to be.  Our short time together has left a permanent mark on me, and I'm very thankful for the light you shined into my existence. I hope that you never falter from that, as I have, but I'm sure that you won't. everyone else sees your light too and it's magnificent to witness. You are the embodiment of what everyone is seeking but most will never find. I'm grateful for our time and memories, beyond measure."

"I need time with you right now, Taylor. I know that's impossible, but Tonight was the first impactful backtrack moment I've had identity wise, and you're pretty much the only person that could fully understand what I would need someone to understand by me saying that and pretty much the only person that could be what I would need

10/29/23, 6:46 AM

Derek

U can move in here if none of that works out, I dunno but from my perspective I would definitely love to be around someone that soaks up life and delivers the outcome in the way that u do. I lost it, gained it back. Lost it again, gained it back, and am here with it now but these people are fatiguing and you are a light that knows it without learning it and shows everyone how to not be what everyone is being

"But your fucking amazing in my book too. In everyone's book, guaranteed. I know what you are, and never doubt it."

 I love you and will miss you forever friend 

Bear

Going on a bear hunt 

Going to catch a big one

I'm not scared 

What's that over there..

A friendly bear

A fun bear

A cuddle bear

But a scared bear

I chase

You run

You hide

I surrender 

You text words as sweet as honey 

" I love you"

Here we go again 

But before I know it

You disappear into thin air again 

A ghost bear

Only wanting what I can't have

Starved for affection 

I get a high off of the drizzles of honey ( words of affection)

All i have  are the breadcrumbs of memories left behind in your tracks

A sleeping bag on the beach with a broken zipper 

Stargazing at the brightest stars I've ever seen 

Kidnapping me on 13th block 

My sandy wet hair drying in the sun on a towel laying next to you

But

People are talking 

We were a train wreck waiting to happen 

Reminiscing about making out in your car

I know it's dumb 

It ain't 2019 no more

Maybe I should stop looking for 

what is not looking for me