Work in Progress
Wednesday, March 12, 2025
Emotional Abuse
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Derek
Leaving your house in NC in 2020
"I need time with you right now, Taylor. I know that's impossible, but Tonight was the first impactful backtrack moment I've had identity wise, and you're pretty much the only person that could fully understand what I would need someone to understand by me saying that and pretty much the only person that could be what I would need
10/29/23, 6:46 AM
Derek

"But your fucking amazing in my book too. In everyone's book, guaranteed. I know what you are, and never doubt it."
I love you and will miss you forever friend
Sunday, April 14, 2024
Bear
Going on a bear hunt
Going to catch a big one
I'm not scared
What's that over there..
A friendly bear
A fun bear
A cuddle bear
But a scared bear
I chase
You run
You hide
I surrender
You text words as sweet as honey
" I love you"
Here we go again
But before I know it
You disappear into thin air again
A ghost bear
Only wanting what I can't have
Starved for affection
I get a high off of the drizzles of honey ( words of affection)
All i have are the breadcrumbs of memories left behind in your tracks
A sleeping bag on the beach with a broken zipper
Stargazing at the brightest stars I've ever seen
Kidnapping me on 13th block
My sandy wet hair drying in the sun on a towel laying next to you
But
People are talking
We were a train wreck waiting to happen
Reminiscing about making out in your car
I know it's dumb
It ain't 2019 no more
Maybe I should stop looking for
what is not looking for me
Wednesday, January 3, 2024
Trusting yourself
I grew up thinking everyone knew better than me
Not trusting myself
Not trusting my intuition
Not trusting my capabilities
Thinking the way I did things and thought was wrong
But when I learned to tune out the opinions and perspective of the world
I realized...
The way I thought was out of the box but it was what made sense to me
The way I did things were different
But it was what worked for me
All along I knew what was best for me
All I needed was to have faith in myself
To listen to my own intuition
Because all of the answers were always within me
To figure things out in my own way
And realizing this is most liberating feeling of my life
Wednesday, December 6, 2023
Healing
There is this saying we teach people how to treat us
But actually we were taught how to be treated
How are we supposed to know that people treat us how our body language shows how we feel about ourselves?
How are you supposed to know you are worthy when people treated you like you were less?
They told me I was shy
But how was I supposed to want to speak up when I felt ignored when I did?
They assumed I could not do things
But that was far from right
All I needed to do was adapt
Now I know better
But grief consumes me that it took so long
I blamed myself for not knowing sooner
But it was never my fault
Healing is a long messy process that I'm still figuring out